Operation: Valentines Blind Date From Hell
by Sere-angel14
Summary: AU, SD-Following tradition, Serena reluctantly agrees to go on a Valentine's Day blind date. Only this isn't your usual bind date...COMP.


AN: The original of this story is at ariasink.com, this is the revision of it. One day I looked at it and realized there were SO many errors ::shudders::. So, here's the new (and hopefully better) version of my valentines day fic. So hopefully i got all the mistakes out. OH, and although no fish were hurt in the making of this fic, don't try the upcoming stunts in your own home. Hope you enjoy and please give feedback!  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: After I had worked oh so very hard on this story, I mailed it to Nako and literally begged her for the rights to own Sailor Moon. And would you believe she actually said no! She said my criteria didn't meet up to her greatness. Can you imagine that? So for now Sailor Moon isn't mine, but just u wait one day I'll be filthy rich with Sailor Moon. I don't own Red Lobster either.  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"Come on!"  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"But it's tradition!"  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"You never know you might find Mr. Right!"  
  
  
  
"Find Mr. Right? How do you suppose that'll happen if I'm sabotaging my date?"   
  
A fairly young, blue eyed blonde erupted at her nearly passable twin.   
  
"Come on Serena, its worked before, it can happen again!" the other blonde protested   
  
at her friend's stubbornness.   
  
"But Mina, I don't [I]want[/I] do this!!"  
  
It had been a year after Serena and her friends started college that one of her friends, Lita, got a crazy idea. She was single on Valentines Day, and so upset about a break-up with an ex-boyfriend of her's that she got Mina to set her up on a blind date where she would do horrible and embarrassing things to see how much a guy could take before he left. Unfortunately for her, in the process of trying to embarrass her date, she ended up making a fool of herself. Strangely enough, the following day her blind date, a nice guy named Ken, called back asking if she wanted to go out again.   
  
After that, Mina tried her luck out, and it worked out well for her too. She ended up meeting a great guy named Andrew. She was so certain this was the way to find great happiness with a significant other that she set her other friends, Raye and Ami, up the next year during Valentines Day. Serena, on the other hand, was very stubborn and didn't want to do it. She thought it was fine and dandy it had worked out so well for the others, but wasn't as confident that it would for her.   
  
"Oh come on Serena. The girls and I have all done it, and now its your turn!"  
  
"Mina, this is crazy! Just because it worked out well for you and the other girls, doesn't mean it will for me."   
  
"You'll never know unless you give it a chance." Mina stated wisely.   
  
Serena looked at her blond friend and realized she wasn't going to give up. Sighing reluctantly she finally admitted in defeat. "What time is it set for?"   
  
"Seven o'clock." Mina cheerfully supplied.  
  
"Seven? But Mina, that only gives me five hours to plan and get dressed!"   
  
"Well then I guess you better get a move on, see you later!" She said making her way towards the door.   
  
"Wait Mina, is my date gonna be cute?"   
  
"Oh yeah, incredibly. One of the cutest at the office." She replied before winking and closing  
  
the door after her.   
  
"Damn."  
  
  
  
INTRODUCTIONS  
  
  
  
Later that evening Serena found herself seated in a booth at one of her favorite restrurants, Red Lobster. She'd come about fifteen minutes early to make sure she was prepared for her Operation: Date From Hell , as she decided to call it. Feeling a little vulnerable waiting by herself, she looked around and saw her four best friends seated a few tables away, grinning at her with their thumbs up. She rolled her eyes with lack enthusiasm and turned back around to see a waiter leading a man toward her booth.   
  
Serena stood up to greet the stranger with her purse tightly gripped in her hand, and as he stepped into the light for a moment she forgot to breathe. Not only was he cute, this man was downright sexy. She started her inspection with his shoes, 'you can always judge a person by their shoes', her mother would say. Oh yeah, he definitely had nice shoes. Traveling her eyes farther up, she noted his nicely creased black slacks, a black leather jacket that was complemented by a blue turtle neck that didn't completely hide his well defined muscles, up to a gorgeous, tanned face with very kissable lips, a broad nose, and a few locks of ebony hair falling into beautiful midnight blue eyes.   
  
She herself was dressed in a simple red strapless dress with a pair of black opened-toe high heels. She didn't particularly like to wear red often, but Mina had insisted since it was Valentines Day after all. Speaking of Mina, she'd like to kill her, along with her other so called friends, for setting her up with such a good looking guy. How was she supposed to ruin the date if she was too busy staring at him? She was about to turn around and cast a glare towards her friends   
  
when she heard her date clear his throat and stick out his hand to introduce himself.   
  
"Hi, my name's Darien, and I'm an alcoholic."  
  
'Why me?.' She dreadfully wondered, taking a step back in shock.  
  
"Excuse me?" she said as he chuckled.   
  
Lord, even his chuckle was sexy. 'This was is so unfair.' she thought sorrowfully to herself.  
  
"No, I'm only kidding. My name is Darien, and its nice to meet you, Serena." Darien said as he flashed a million dollar smile that just made her want to jump him right then and there.  
  
'Get a hold of yourself.' Serena encouraged herself as she released her hold on her purse and gripped his hand as she replied, "That's great to hear. It's nice to meet you Darien."  
  
'This is going to be a long night.'  
  
  
  
THIS WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN!!   
  
  
  
After introductions the two sat and ordered. Darien was a bit surprised that Serena had ordered the Seafood Feast. Usually girls he went out with chose something remote to a small salad, and even then they'd barely eat five bites before claiming they were full. Of course, as to not feel outdone, Darien also ordered the Seafood Feast.  
  
Conversation was fairly good, which somewhat surprised Serena. Unlike past dates Mina had tried to set her up with, Darien was intelligent and had a great sense of humor. Not to mention he was fun to look at, too. Serena found it hard to believe a sexy and bright man   
  
such as Darien was still single, and out on a blind date with her nonetheless. Of course this thought only made her all the more dreadful about how this perfect date would soon end.  
  
Soon after they had finished eating Darien excused himself to the restroom. When the door closed behind him Lita, came towards the table.   
  
"Okay Serena, you've delayed long enough. Time to get on with the plan." Lita said keeping an eye on the door leading to the men's restroom incase Darien came out. Truth be told her and the other girls were getting bored with watching the couple talk and eat. They wanted to see some action.   
  
Serena looked down at her purse and decided Lita was right, it was about time she got on with the show. "Ok." she replied agitatedly, "just try and keep quiet over there while I humiliate myself."   
  
"Sure thing buddy." Lita said, returning happily to her table, glad that finally something was going to happen.   
  
"Sorry I took so long." Darien said as he returned back to his seat.   
  
'I'm sorry you didn't take long enough.' Serena thought as she gave him a small smile.   
  
"So Serena," Darien said conversationally, "how long have you and Mina known each other?"   
  
"Since we started middle school. That's where all us girls met. Me, Mina, Lita, Amy, and Ray. Mina told me you've met the other girls at the office before, right?" Darien nodded his head in assurance as Serena continued. "Now, what exactly is it you do at the office again?" Mina hadn't offered much information on Darien after Serena agreed to the date.   
  
"Oh, I'm the CEO, Mina's my secretary." Darien replied. He was rather surprised Mina hadn't told her, but then again he could remember more then a few occasions when Mina had also forgotten to give him important messages and such. Mina was a good person, really he knew she was, but personality was nothing when it came to business. Which is why he would have found another secretary long ago, but Mina's boyfriend was also his best friend so he kept her.   
  
For Serena's part, she was bowled over the fact that Mina would actually had the guts to set her up with her boss. Mina sure was something. Serena was so occupied in her thoughts she didn't notice that the lemon she was about to squeeze into her tea was pointed at Darien until she heard him yelp in surprise. She looked up alarmed, and sure enough there was her date wearing a scowl on his handsome face and holding up a hand to his offended eye. Hearing laughter coming from a few tables down, Serena cast a glare at the girls,and immediately she felt bad. She really hadn't meant to do that. Thinking quickly Serena leaned over the table taking Darien's hand so she could inspect his eye.   
  
"Oh Darien I am soooo, sorry. I really should've been paying more attention. I'm such a klutz!" she apologized while dabbing a napkin she had dipped into Darien's water over his eye.   
  
"It's okay Serena, it was just an accident." Darien said taking hold of Serena's wrist and removing it from his eye. Just as he was about to assure her that he was fine he looked into her eyes and realized just how close they were. Serena, too, had noticed just how close they were with her elbow rested on the side of his plate, she was more than half way over the table. Not to mention her butt was just about sticking into the air.  
  
Taking for granted that she had yet to move away, and forgetting about his mildly damaged eye, Darien took his free hand and cupped Serena's cheek guiding her towards him. Just as they were about to kiss Serena's elbow tipped the candle that was lit by their food, causing it to fall over, setting the remains of Darien's food on fire. She instantly jumped back to her side of the booth puzzled at what to do about the fire. Luckily for her, Darien was a quick thinker and he splashed the rest of his water on the burning plate.  
  
They sat for a moment in silence, ignoring the stars (and laughter comming from a few tables down), until finally Serena put her head in her hands and groaned. 'No, this isn't part of the plan!!' she whined to herself. Maybe with the way things were going Darien would leave before she had to fully humiliate herself. Not that she hadn't done it already.   
  
As she heard Darien's deep laughter she peeked through her hands and saw him whipping tears from his eyes.   
  
"What's so funny?" Serena asked baffled. She was sure Darien would be angry with her. After all she had just squirted him in the eye with lemon juice, and just about set the restaurant on fire. But instead he was laughing!   
  
"You sure are something else. Mina wasn't lying when she said this would be a date like no other." Darien said as he calmed down and looked over at the embarrassed blonde.  
  
  
  
NOT YOUR EVERYDAY LADY  
  
  
  
After the whole fire incident Serena took a trip to the ladies room, where she was met with Raye. Raye informed Serena how spectacular she and the other girls thought she was doing. They never expected the whole 'lemon juice in the eye' fiasco. Before departing Raye took time to fix her makeup; she had lines of mascara running down her cheeks   
  
after she started crying from laughing so much, and encouraged Serena to do an even more entertaining show after she went back to Darien.  
  
When she got back to the booth, Serena was feeling a little uneasy. She'd already completely embarrassed herself, and that was before the she even got a chance to start her plan! 'That was bad luck.' she convinced herself . 'Besides you've got it all under control from here. If the girls want entertainment, that's what they'll get.'   
  
"Ready for dessert?" Darien asked reeling her from her thoughts.  
  
"Absolutely." So she was a sucker for sweets, Naughty Serena could come out and mess with Darien after the dessert.   
  
After dessert had came, things were pretty uneventful. In fact, while indulged in her delicious dessert- a chocolate covered, strawberry cheesecake- Serena had almost forgot about the plan at hand. That is until she was hit in the back of the head with an empty crab shell-claw. Courtesy of Raye, she was sure of. She turned around and saw three of her friends giving her exasperated looks, while Raye was shaking her fist and mouthing 'more action.' Serena rolled and her eyes and turned back to Darien, glad he was too engrossed in his brownie covered with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge to notice what had just taken place.   
  
'Fine,' she thought to herself, 'you'll get your action.'   
  
Slipping her foot out of her shoe, Serena slid her foot to Darien's leg and rubbed her foot against him. She wasn't disappointed by his reaction when he looked up from his dessert to her, shock evident on his features. She put a mastered face of innocence on, looked at him   
  
and picked up her tea. She took a long gulp, proceeded to take a deep breath, and let out the hugest burp she could muster. If it had a been a burping contest she was sure would have won. Her burp was long, deep, it made her throat vibrate, and was just straight out unlady like. Her little brother, Sammy, would've been proud.   
  
Darien on the other hand was astonished. He never imagined a woman like Serena could generate something so foul. He was positive that if he hadn't been sitting at the table when she committed the crime, he would've mistaken the act as something man-produced. But after her breathless 'excuse me', he was assured she was all woman. Even though he was almost sure no other woman could let out such a burp like that, Darien was positive no man could have such an angelic voice. Nor could any man (that he knew of) have such soft feet like the ones that were inside his pants, rubbing up and down his leg, making it hard for him to think straight.   
  
  
  
THOSE WERE THE DAYS  
  
  
  
"You have got to be kidding me!"  
  
"No, I'm absolutely serious! Me and the girls figured that if a group of blonde boys could make a smashing hit by saying 'Mmm Bop' the entire time, why couldn't we whistle? Of course, the ever-smart Ami was right from the very beginning, commenting on how nobody would want to sit around and listen to a group of whistling teenagers." Serena said, finishing up her story on how her and the girls had tried to create a whistling band. Needless to say, it went nowhere.   
  
"Wow Serena, I must say that is an incredible story. Who would've thought, a group of whistling girls. I sure would've paid for the CD." Darien said jokingly.   
  
A few tables away…  
  
"What are they saying?"  
  
"Shhh! I can't hear!"  
  
"I think she was telling him about how we tried to start the whistling band."  
  
"That ditz, she's supposed to be entertaining us! How long has it been since something exciting happened?" Raye complained.  
  
"Your right, its been too long, and I wanna get home before Andrew goes to bed. We were supposed to do something special tonight, but Serena is taking too long to make her final move!" Mina whined,upset about having to stay for so long.  
  
"Give me another crab leg!"   
  
"We don't have any, the waiter came and took our plates." Ami explained.  
  
"Grrr, well somebody do something to get her attention, I'm loosing my patience!"  
  
"I've got it!" Lita exclaimed, "Waiter!"  
  
Back to our couple…  
  
"…yeah, so then after that the fish could only swim left. Poor Chad never knew what made his fish so stupid." Darien explained, finishing up one of his college stories.  
  
"Aw poor fish." Serena said, giggling about the tale. "I never knew Greg and Andrew could be so evil. And to tell you the truth, I'd never heard that placing a fish in Coke could blow it up. It's a good thing all they had in the room was sprite, I don't know how they would've explained to Chad why his fish was no longer in one piece."  
  
"Pardon me Ma'am, we've received a message for you." Said one of the waiters, sorry for interrupting the couple's conversation.  
  
"Oh, thank you." Serena replied, taking a slip of paper from the waiter's hand, wondering what the message was all about.  
  
'Listen Meatball Head, you've had enough fun, its time to go for the kill. Me and the girls are tired of sitting here watching this boring date. Get his number and make something happen so we can all go home!  
  
Raye'  
  
'It would be from her.' Serena thought bitterly as she crumpled the piece of the paper up. She quickly turned her head around to shoot a glare at a smug-looking wench, and turned back to a curious looking Darien.  
  
"What was that message about?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, it was just my mother saying to call her as soon as I got home. She's such a drama queen, she'll leave about ten messages on my answering telling me to call her as soon as possible because its vital, then she'll just pester me about my love life." Well she wasn't telling a complete lie. Even though the message wasn't from her mother, when she did leave them she tended to exaggerate their importance.  
  
"Oh, I see." Darien replied seemingly satisfied with her explanation.  
  
Serena looked at her watch and noticed it was well nearing nine thirty. It didn't seem like she had been there that long. She glanced around and noticed most of the tables were empty. 'Well, now's as good a time as any to end this date with a bang….I hope he calls after. Damn those girls for setting me up with somebody so great.' Serena took a deep breath before putting her hand over her stomach.   
  
"Ugh, my stomach."   
  
"What's wrong? Was there something wrong with the food?" Darien ask concerned.   
  
"No, the food was great," Serena explained, "I just forgot, oh man, I forgot to not eat the garlic shrimp." Serena was amazed. She should totally have gone for an acting career, Darien was eating this how performance up.  
  
"The garlic shrimp? What was wrong with it?"  
  
"Nothing," she said placing her other hand over her mouth like she was   
  
about to throw up, "I just forgot that I was allergic to them!" she said getting up from the table with her purse and rushing to the restroom labled 'Men'.  
  
Darien sat dumbfounded. He didn't know whether to sit paitienty and wait for Serena to come back, or go inside and check on her. She had gone into the men's restroom after all, so it wouldn't be that bad.  
  
Serena stood in one of stalls awkwardly. It was bad enough having to go through so much already, but this restroom was disgusting! The smell was bad enough to make her want to be sick for real. 'How do guys stand being so dirty?' she thought. After a few moments she wondered if Darien was going to come in to check on her. Surely he saw   
  
her dash off to the men's restroom. Then she heard a door creak and Darien calling her name.   
  
"Serena are you in here?" 'Of course she's in here you dope, you saw her run in here!'Darien thought to himself stupidly.  
  
Serena reached inside her purse and pulled out a portable tape player. What it contained, she didn't know. All she knew was that when Andrew and Chad had heard about the date, they made a tape that she was only supposed to play in the restroom. Seeing how they had been the subjects of the girl's blind dates, they only saw fit that they helped this one out. She just hopped they didn't over do it, she knew how they could tend to get carried away sometimes.  
  
Taking a deep breath (and almost gagging from inhaling so much of the nauseating air) she pressed the play button.  
  
First there was a bit of moaning.   
  
"Serena? Is that you?" Darien asked.   
  
Then it sounded as if somebody threw up.   
  
"Umm, is there anything I can help with?"   
  
After a few moments of more moaning and throwing up sounds there was silence.   
  
"Are you okay Serena?"  
  
Then, as a waiter off duty walked in, there was a sound breaking fart. The waiter stood paralyzed for a few seconds and walked back out.   
  
Serena was mortified. It wasn't fair! None of the other girls had to go through such embarrassing situations. How could the boys add something so horrid? Better yet, how did they make it sound so convincing? No, strike that thought, she didn't want to know all the details.  
  
Then, just as she thought it was over, there were sounds of chickens clucking!   
  
"Serena? Did I just hear…chickens?" asked a tentative Darien.  
  
Of all the sounds in the world, they just had to add the chickens! Not wanting to hear anymore, Serena pressed the stop button and stuffed the  
  
device back into her purse. She didn't want to face Darien. The only thing that made her come out was the smell. That and the thought of getting back at every person who helped set this date up.   
  
Brushing off her dress and patting down her hair, she stepped out, coming in view of a baffled Darien.   
  
"Eh heh, it was that darn garlic. The effect usually isn't this bad." she said looking down.  
  
Darien nodded mutely and made his way towards the door with Serena in tow. As they were walking back to the table Serena saw her friends, Raye was making kissing motions and Mina was giving her a nodding encouragement. Serena knew what this meant. With her back towards Darien, she took a piece of garlic from her purse and ate it. 'Yuck, that was horrible.' she thought.   
  
"Well Darien," she said turning towards him with her eyes still unable to meet his, "I had a great time."   
  
"Me too Serena, and I hope you feel better soon." Was it just her or did it sound like he was a little disappointed? 'Must be just me.'  
  
'Well, its now or never.' she thought before lifting her head up and going towards his lips.  
  
At first Darien was shocked. He sure didn't expect that. After, he started to kiss her back until he tasted a very strong hint of garlic. Of all the things, she had to taste like garlic! Then, he remembered that just before she had been throwing up all she had eaten in the last two hours. A little repulsed at the newfound discovery, he hastly pulled away with a severe sour expression across his handsome features.   
  
Serena looked up and saw exactly what she expected to see. It was just the look she was going for. But it still made her feel horrible.   
  
With a quick bye she dashed out the restaurant and hailed a cab as quickly as possible.   
  
She'd never been so embarrassed in her life.  
  
  
  
THE AFTERMATH   
  
  
  
By the time Serena had gotten home it was already past 10. 'Wow I guess it did last longer then expected.' Feeling like crap, she decided to take a shower and pig out on some ice cream. With all the food she consumed on a regular basis, it was a wonder how she remained so thin.   
  
"Mmm, Cookies n' Cream, just what I need." She said to herself while pulling out her half pint of ice cream.   
  
She sat on her dark blue couch while looking for something to watch. Remembering ABC Family was having a Valentines Day movie marathon, she turned it there to see they were showing the new movie 'The One'.  
  
"Why can't I find the one?" She said out loud dejectedly before slowly dozing off with ice cream still in hand.   
  
*knock, knock*  
  
"Coming." said a sleepy Serena as she got up to answer the door, wondering who would dare come over this time at night. Opening the door and half expecting it to be one of the girls, she was surprised to find Darien.   
  
"Darien! What are you doing here?" she asked, now fully awake.  
  
"Serena, I had a really wonderful time tonight with you."  
  
"Um, so did I." she said a little dazed. Hadn't they already had this conversation before she kissed him and left a bitter taste in his mouth?  
  
"Serena, your unlike any other girl I've met. I know I haven't even known you for twenty-four hours, but I think- no, I know I'm in love with you."  
  
"Huh?" This was too weird. The perfect man was not only standing right in front of her, but professing his love to her!  
  
"Serena," he said getting down on one knee and taking her hand, "I know this is sudden, but will you-  
  
*Ring, ring*  
  
Serena sat up with a start. Of course, it had all just been a dream. Anything like that was just too perfect to happen to her.  
  
*Ring*  
  
Just as she picked up the phone, the person hung up. 'Just my luck,' she thought bitterly, 'somebody would call just when I was right in the middle of a great dream, only to hang up as soon as I answer.' Life sucked.  
  
Feeling something wet on her stomach, she looked down to notice in the midst of her dream she had wasted the forgotten ice cream on herself. Heaving a sigh she took off her sticky nightshirt and cleaned the mess she managed to make.  
  
Just as she was heading towards her room she heard a knock at the door. Tossing out the possibility that by some slim chance it would be Darien, she headed towards the door. She briefly thought about throwing on a clean shirt, but figured it was probably just one of the girls. It wasn't like they would see anything they hadn't before.  
  
She opened up the door and almost died. It [I]was[I/] Darien!   
  
"D-Darien! What are you doing here?" When she saw he was staring down she quickly ran to her room, cursing herself. She knew she should've changed. But did she listen to that little voice inside her head? Did she ever? And now Darien had seen her in her matching underwear set. Complete with pink and red hearts. 'At least I wasn't naked.' she thought.  
  
Serena came back feeling much more comfortable with an oversized shirt and boxers on. She noticed Darien had invited himself in and was sitting on her couch.  
  
"Darien." She said to make her presence known.   
  
"Serena." he said standing up and handing her a rose. "This is for you."  
  
"Thanks. How did you find out where I lived?" she asked.  
  
"I think I'm the one entitled to ask questions here." he said taking a step towards her.  
  
Serena took and step back and cleared her throat. "Um, excuse me?"  
  
"Well Serena dear, after you left, I noticed a group of girls laughing hysterically." Serena gasped as he continued. "Taking a closer look, I noticed those girls were very familiar. Now being the smart man that I am," he said tapping an index finger on his head, " I knew it wasn't by mere coincidence that my secretary and her friends just happen to be dinning at the same restaurant as my date and me. So, I figured there had to be some sort of conspiracy."  
  
"Darien I have no idea what your talking about." she tried to play innocent, eyes franticly searching for an escape.  
  
"Oh, but I think you do." he said trapping her against her door. "You see, one of those girls was my secretary, Mina. I think you know her; blonde, cheery, very forgetful at times. Well anyways, I made her explain everything to me, and suddenly it all made sense. The burps, the bathroom incident, the lemon juice in the eye-though I'm pretty sure that was on account of your own clumsiness. It had all been a prank! Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" he said sternly.   
  
Serena gulped, this man was very intimidating. "Um… happy valentines…day?"  
  
Darien chuckled before covering his lips with hers. "You sure are something, Serena. I must say, I've never met anyone quite as intriguing. Say you'll go out with me again?" He questioned, cupping her chin in his large hand.  
  
With her muted nodding consent Darien was satisfied. There was definitely something about Serena, and he didn't want to let her get away.   
  
"Good then, I'll call you." he said before moving Serena out the way to pull the door open. He had plans for giving a certain secretary a great bonus for introducing him to a great girl.   
  
After Darien left Serena was in a state of shock. She sure hadn't expected that. Then smelling the rose she still held, she gave a lazy smile before heading off to bed.   
  
'Happy Valentines Day to me.' she thought happily as she drifted off into a wonderful dream filled with sexy men and trips to Red Lobster.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yay! Its done!! that's actually the first story I've completed, can u tell?? Please email me at sere_angel14@excite.com and tell me what you all thought!  
  
The fish story actually happened!! Some of my brother-in-law's friends did it to their roomates fish, it was never the same after. But, I don't recommend u try it at home. 


End file.
